Toxic Masculinity

According to the New York Times, Toxic masculinity is what can come of

teaching boys that they can't express emotion openly; that they have

to be “tough all the time”. But this issue isn’t as simple as it

seems. According to statistics in 2019, life expectancy for men in

America decreased to 5.8 years below that of a woman because of

societal expectations. So what are these expectations and why are men

being so deeply affected for a problem that “isn’t a big deal”?

Well, let me start by saying, it is a big deal. Boys and men aren’t

supposed to discuss their emotions, seek help for their mental health

situation and are often forced to be in risk-seeking behaviours

because that is the only thing that makes them qualified enough to be

a man. This is commonly referred to as ‘toxic masculinity’ and

continues to be a huge contributor to suicide, homicide, addiction and

non-communicable diseases amongst men. At times, society tends to

forget that men have feelings too. Yes, women go through differences

as well but that doesn’t mean we neglect men.

But why does this happen? The answer is simple; toxic masculinity and

because we let society’s standards getting into our heads. Personally, I

have witnessed boys and men being criticised for wearing clothes that

had ‘female colours’. I have witnessed the humiliation of men by

calling them names such as ‘gay’ or ‘transgender’ or even being called

‘woman’ despite them being none of those. Not only is this

disrespectful towards men, but it’s disrespectful towards the other genders as

well. Other genders are being used as an insult! That is how toxic

society is getting!

We now live in a world that has become so divided that no one can

express themselves. No man or boy can: wear the colour pink, cry or

even just become a stay-at-home dad. We live in a society where men

that choose to be teachers are looked down upon and where wearing lace

makes a man feminine. That is not the society I want to live in. That

is NOT the society that we should let future generations grow up in.

So this one is to all the boys that want to bake, wear pastel colours,

sing or seek help for their mental health and cry. This is to remind

YOU that none of that makes you less of a man. You fighting, staying

alive and coping up with all of society’s toxic standards is what

makes you a man. Just know that you have a whole norm that is willing

to fight for you; the youth: Generation Z.

Sithumdi Jayawardhana

Founder of Poetry United